有关英语短笑话带翻译精选？

很多笑话的笑点是需要想像力和联想到一些事情才能正确的领悟这个笑点。我精心收集了有关英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

有关英语短笑话带翻译篇1

Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?

Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.

Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.

Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"

老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?

杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!

老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。

杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”

有关英语短笑话带翻译篇2

Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"

老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。

约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?

老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。

约翰：“我想我不知道”。

有关英语短笑话带翻译篇3

Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

老师: 约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

约翰尼: 先生，在这儿。

老师: 对了。萨默，你来回答是谁发现了澳大利亚?

萨默: 先生，是约翰尼。

有关英语短笑话带翻译篇4

man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟。”

关于经典英语笑话_英语笑话100篇

　下面是我整理的经典英语冷笑话12篇，以供大家学习参考。

　经典英语冷笑话：小心有狗!

　As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，?危险! 小心有狗!? 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 ?这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊? 陌生人问店主。?是，就是他?，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。?我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么 因为，? 店主解释说，?在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。?

　经典英语冷笑话：在天堂结婚

　A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven. The young lady then asks St. Peter, ?If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"

　一对年轻的夫妇在去结婚的路上出了车祸，双双死去了。于是，他们来到了圣徒彼得面前，妻子问是否她还可以和丈夫结婚，圣徒彼得告诉他们，关于这个问题他一有了结果就会回来找他们。差不多30天以后，圣徒彼得回来了，并且告诉他们可以在天堂结婚。妻子又问：?如果生活的不愉快，我们可不可以离婚呢?圣徒彼得看着她，回答说：?夫人，我花了30天才找到个传教士，难道你真的希望我再去找个律师吗?

　经典英语冷笑话：点名

　On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."

　大学的第一天，文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书，他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台，拿出课本，?贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克?为了写下所有的名字，我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我：?他在点名呢。?

　经典英语冷笑话：最希望得到的签名

　Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."

　我们大学的校报开办了一个每周一问的专栏。上周的问题是：?你最想要什么人的签名?为什么?和预计的一样，大部分的回答都是歌星、体育明星或者政治家。但是，最优秀的答案来自一个一年级新生，他说：?在我 毕业 证上签字的那个人。?

　经典英语冷笑话：动机

　My English professor once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

　我们英文课的教授有一次在课上讲?动机?。?是什么推动你在人生的路上向前走?他问道，?是什么让你每天上学来?又是什么驱使你追求成功?冲着一个女学生，他问：?是什么让你早晨从床上爬起来的呢?学生答道：?我妈妈。?

　经典英语冷笑话：班级、情人和蠢驴

　Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

　汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：?汤姆教授明天将和大家见面?。一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将?class?中的?c?擦掉，教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把?lass? 中的?l?擦掉，看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。

　经典英语冷笑话：智力缺陷

　"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

　?医生，你能不能告诉我，?鲍勃问，?对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢再没有比这容易的了，?医生回答，?问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。?那要问什么样的问题呢嗯，你可以这样问，?库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢鲍勃想了一会儿，紧张的回答道，?你就不能问另外一个问题吗?坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是很多。?

　经典英语冷笑话：开卷考试

　On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.

　我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书。期末考试那天，听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。考试前，我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了，随后，我们坐在教室里等着考试。这时候教授宣布：考虑到试题的难度，今天的考试我们决定开卷。

　经典英语冷笑话：机长的录音

　This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew... I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it to waving at you. That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.

　这是你们机长的声音。请允许我代表全体工作人员，欢迎你们乘坐英国航空公司602号航班从纽约飞往伦敦。我们此时在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。如果你从飞机的右边向窗外看去，你将会发现右侧的两个引擎都已经起火。如果你从左边往外看，你就会看到那边的机翼已经脱落了。如果你俯视下面的大西洋，那么你会看到一艘**的救生筏，上面有三个人正在朝你挥手。那是我、副驾驶员还有我们的一名女乘务员。这是一段录音。

　经典英语冷笑话：无聊的课

　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"

　在开普吉拉多市的东南密苏里州立大学上学的时候，我喜欢的几个老师之中有一个以他的幽默感而出名。给新生上头一节课，他给学生解释在他课上的纪律，他说：?我知道我的课经常会很枯燥乏味，所以我并不介意你们在课上看表。然而，我坚决不允许你们把表重重的摔在课桌上，以此来检查你的表是不是还在走。?

　经典英语冷笑话：交通事故

　A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'

　有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：?被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的 广告 牌上面闪烁着?壳牌?，但是有个人挡住了那个?S。?

　经典英语冷笑话：写给上帝的信

　A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

　有个小男孩非常需要50美元，他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。后来，他决定写封信向上帝索要这50美元。邮局接到这封信，想了想觉得还是应该交给总统比较好。总统被逗笑了，于是指示秘书寄给小男孩5美元，因为他觉得5美元对于一个小孩来讲已经是不少了。小男孩收到了钱很高兴，给上帝回了一封 感谢信 ，信里写道：尊敬的上帝，非常感谢你把钱寄给我。然而，我发现这些钱是通过白宫寄出的，因此，和往常一样，那帮家伙收了我45美元的税。

冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。我整理了关于爆笑的经典短篇英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

关于爆笑的经典短篇英语笑话篇一

　Two Soldiers

　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one?s name was George, and the second one?s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　Then George said, "Now I haven?t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What?s your girl-friend?s address?"

　军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：?比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?

　比尔说：?有。?然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

　乔治又说：?我还没有笔呢。?比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：?比尔，你有邮票吗?比尔给了他一张。

　这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：?你要出去吗?

　比尔说：?是的。?随即打开了门。

　乔治说：?请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...?他停住了。

　?你还要什么?比尔问。

　乔治看着信封说：?你女朋友的地址是-?

　关于爆笑的经典短篇英语笑话篇二

　West Point

　My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

　One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

　父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。?好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。?

　一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：?我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。?

　关于爆笑的经典短篇英语笑话篇三

　Five Months Older

　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

　But John?s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy?s family name, so when he saw John?s papers, he was surprised.

　"How old are you?" he said.

　"Eighteen, sir," said John.

　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

　大五个月

　第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。

　可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。

　?你多大了?军医问。

　?十八，长官。?约翰说。

　?可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?

　约翰脸红了，说：?哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。?

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